Abide

Do you ever feel like you are striving; racing against time to make “it” happen?

I don’t know what that “thing” is that you are working towards or searching for; for me it was a sense of purpose and accomplishment. I’ve always had this drive inside of me to do “great things”, but what I’ve noticed is that the motivation behind the propulsion towards these goals matters more than reaching the goal itself. Doing great things is admirable, but we have the capability of doing greater things if we abide and wait on God’s timing. His plans for us are greater than anything we can think or imagine (see Jeremiah 29:11).

I had a desperation to make sure my life wasn’t wasted. A deep need to accomplish noteworthy tasks because I was conditioned to see that accomplishment brought recognition and recognition brought praise. And for me, praise equaled love so I would push myself into the hunt of goal digging continuously watching the days tick by with a tinge of fear.

Through this pursuit, I’ve had the privilege of building relationships with amazing individuals who are extremely successful in their fields. Multi-millionaires, well known personal development coaches, and different leaders in multiple professions were my inner circle of influence. They were encouraging, supportive and believed in me; and a big part of me didn’t want to let them down. The goals and things I was working on were all good, great even. However, in the midst of the grind something inside of me always felt…off. There was pursuit but no sense of deep purpose.

Then about a year ago God intervened and asked me to let the chase go. I had a choice to release everything I was working so hard on, or to continue because I had already invested so much into it. And as I prayed for confirmation and guidance, the decision became easy. And I stepped away from all of it. The business. The writing. The striving. Everything. As the resting season began, I struggled. I had wrapped up my identity in what I did so tightly, that when that packaging was gone I didn’t know what to do with myself.

But God is so faithful. He had already placed very key people into my life that would speak wisdom and encouragement into me. And every time I was tempted to pick up a “project” to work on, He was quick to check my heart. That is when I realized that before, my life was so noisy, I wasn’t hearing Him speak and lead me on a daily basis. Instead I was only hearing Him when He had to turn up the volume. This season of rest became my new favorite place.

It’s been a year of resting and abiding in God’s nurturing and healing love. What I’ve come to see is that in this time of intentional stillness, I’ve grown and become so much more of the woman I was created to be than I ever did those past 6 years of striving to make a name for myself. Nothing God asks us to give up is for naught, and a life spent pursuing Him is never wasted. It only becomes that much more purposeful and supernatural.

I’ve learned that while I rest in Him, He fights for me. He is always working on my behalf and He never sleeps so that I can sleep peacefully. He creates divine appointments that I could never manufacture on my own. And He opens doors that not even the most polished resume could ever open. He is my Provider in every way.

He has me in a place that is so peaceful, so beautiful, and so pregnant with expectation and faith. He’s surrounded me with friendships and mentors that are deep and loving. Each individual encounter is growing me, and pointing me in the direction of His purpose and plan for me. I’ve realized that when I abide in Him, I can’t miss it (whatever that “it” is); because He is so intentional with every part of our relationship. He exists outside of time and yet He is so deliberate about the timing of my steps. There’s a peace and contentment in knowing that He orders them. I would give up everything again in a heartbeat to come to this place with Him.

So my friend, if you resonate at all with where I was, I pray you find the rhythm of rest. And if you have found this abiding rest, I pray you draw deeper and deeper into your relationship and revelation with our good good Father. Trusting always that His timing is perfect, and He is our source of all things good.

You are loved.

Hill